What Life Gives Us
by SexySloth
Summary: Harry's devoted his life to find Hermione who was been missing since the war. When he finds her, is it what he was expecting? SS/HG, with a lot of Harry. Enjoy!


**AN: There is a lot of background info to get through first…but stick with it! SS/HG is in the story, promise, but in a way, it's also a Harry/Ginny fix. This is pretty different than anything I've written before, so I hope it passes muster. :) Enjoy, and REVIEW! **

**Disclamer: I own nothing**

What Life Gives Us

It was nearing midnight. Harry Potter was bent over the desk in the library of Grimmauld Place which he had inherited after the war. It had been 10 years since that fateful night when Voldemort had been defeated…and things weren't much simpler.

"Harry?" The voice from the doorway jostled him out of his thoughts and he looked up to see his wife of 8 years standing there, robe wrapped loosely around her nightgown. Her eyes were soft and sympathetic as she made her way to him and pressed a kiss atop his messy hair and braced her hands gently on his shoulders. "Please come to bed. I miss you."

"I'm sorry Ginny. We've just got a break. This might be it. We might finally be able to find her."

"That's wonderful Harry. But can't it wait till morning?" Harry pulled back away from her angrily and stared.

"Ginny, I know you two weren't exactly best friends, but Hermione was…is an important person in my life. I've searched for her for years. If this is really the answer, I'm not just going to roll over and wait. She's been missing for nearly a decade!"

Ginny gazed at her husband, her eyes were sad. "Harry, I miss her too. I'm sorry. I'm certainly not trying to diminish your feelings for your friend. I know you want to find her. We all want her to be found. But there hasn't been trace…and I guess I just worry about you. It's become an obsession for you. Just leave it for tonight. Just for a little while."

Harry sighed and removed his glasses, rubbing the bridge of his nose tiredly. "You're right. I'm the one who is sorry. I'm coming Ginny." She nodded gently and left the room, leaving Harry alone once more with his thoughts.

He turned to the mantle over the fireplace where the logs were beginning to ash over as the fire banked from the soot. His green eyes caught on the moving picture in it's gilt frame. It was a shot from many years ago. A young girl smiled and waved at the camera and then slapped the shoulder of the person next to her in the frame. His other lifelong friend Ron Weasley and Hermione had posed for this picture shortly after their third year. It had been a very long time ago, before the rise of Voldemort, before their lives had gotten so complicated. Four days after Harry had killed Lord Voldemort and the wizarding world had begun to rebuild itself from the ground up, Hermione Granger had disappeared, and hadn't been heard or seen since. Harry had dedicated the better part of a decade now searching for her. Every now and then there would be a break, a lead. A report from Cokeworth of a woman with Hermione's hair and a ginger cat, reports of a woman in Ottery St. Catchpole with a purple beaded bag. There had once been a handsome reward for any information, and her safe return. But after a year's worth of letters from people insane with greed pretending to be the famed third member of the Golden Trio, Harry had publicly announced that the case was going away, declared unsolved…and so it was put to rest. Publicly that is. Privately, Harry had continued to search relentlessly. Ron had helped for a while, pouring over obituaries, surveillance photographs and population polls…but after a few years he too had become convinced that it was better to let sleeping dogs lie.

"If Hermione is still alive,mate, she doesn't want to be found. I think it's time to give it a rest Harry." But Harry couldn't. He looked once more at the address given to him by one of his private investigators, and headed up to bed. Maybe Ginny was right. He needed sleep. Going up the stairs, and briefly checking in on his three sleeping children, he made his way to the bedroom and closed the door.

…..

The next morning, Harry had set off early. It was nearing 9 o-clock when he arrived at the apparition point in Kent, England. He was just off the high street, he noted, underneath a small archway covered in vines. He looked at the paper in his hands and headed down the old cobblestone street of the muggle neighborhood. It was a beautiful area, and the morning sun was only a little bit blocked out by the clearing haziness of an English morning. He travelled down the road until he came to a small pathway that led to a less populated area. It was overgrown with vines and weeds, and there was a small wooden sign that was painted with the words _Private Drive_. Harry immediately detected a magical signature coming off of the sign. It was not hard to notice when one was a wizard, but it would be completely undetectable to a muggle passerby. Going on a hunch, Harry moved sideways from the sign and looked at it from a diagonal angle, and watched as the words shimmered and changed to say: _Apothecary: Fine Potions, Medecines, and Remedies._

Pushing his glasses up higher on his nose, he started down the walkway. The air was sweet, and somewhere he could hear a soft tinkling of chimes. Within only a few minutes of walking his way down the winding path, he came across a small cottage made of stone and whitewash, a large garden with the wash hanging on the side over a line, and a green front door with a small knocker. He started when he noticed that the knocker was in the shape of a lion and an snake entwined together, and it reminded him, strangely, of symbols from his time at Hogwarts. Taking a deep breath, preparing himself to be greeted by some aged woman in an apron recognizing him as the boy who lived and pulling him inside for tea, he raised his hand to the knocker and pressed it against the green wood of the door three times, sharp. The door opened…and Harry gasped.

The hauntingly familiar man who opened the door was tall and slim, dressed simply in white linen shirtsleeves and dark grey trousers. There was an old, tattered apron over his clothes and his hands were covered in thick, dragon hide gloves. His hair was as black as ever, his eyes just as dark, nose the same prominent feature on his face. A face Harry had never forgotten. The last time he'd seen this man's face, he was in the Shrieking shack on the grounds of Hogwarts. The man had been dying in his arms, giving him his last memories, and instructions that helped him save the wizarding world. Then the man had died in his arms.

Severus Snape stared down at the shorter man at his door and smiled slightly. It was almost, Harry thought, the look of someone who had expected this very moment to happen at some point, and it was finally coming to pass. "Good morning, Mr. Potter."

Harry was trying to wrap his mind around what was going on. He was standing on the threshold of a cottage in a remote area of the English countryside. In front of him was Severus Snape, a man who had been dead for ten years. "I'm not really sure what is going on here, but I would really like an explanation."

"I'm sure you do, but Mr. Potter. I could very well tell you the story right now, but why don't you come inside. My wife will make you some tea, and we can all sit down and discuss it."

"But I…what are you…your _wife_?"

"Come," his voice intoned quietly. Harry stepped through the doorway into a large entryway with a staircase in front of him, high ceilings with dark beams went throughout the rustic cottage, which he realized immediately was larger on the inside than it appeared. "I believe she is in the kitchen."

Harry followed him and watched him as he moved through the house, down a long hallway and towards a doorway. He could hear the sound of children's laughter coming from that room and Harry began to feel dizzy. They came to the doorway and Severus went in first. "We have a guest."

Harry stepped through the door. Sitting at a large whitewashed table, were three small children of differing ages. They were unmistakably Severus' children. The same raven black hair, the same piercing eyes. All three looked about as in awe of Harry as he was of them. He watched as all three pairs of dark eyes shifted from his scar to his feet then back up and over to the left. He followed the direction of their gaze, and Harry's breath caught in his chest. It seemed like his heart had stopped beating. Harry was staring into the familiar eyes of a woman he hadn't seen in ten years. Hermione Granger stood before him. Her warm brown eyes were bright with tears, and she smiled sadly at the shocked look on his face.

"Diana, be a love and take your sisters outside to the garden to play. You can finish your breakfast later." Harry dimly noticed as the oldest girl rose from the table and quietly led her two younger siblings outside a Dutch door and he was alone in the room with Hermione and Severus who had both taken off their aprons.

"Harry…." Hermione broke off, tears spilling over her cheeks now. She wiped them away. "I'm so sorry."

"I'm sorry too," he spoke hoarsely, "because I have no idea what is going on, so forgive me if I take a seat."

"Of course, please take a chair, Mr. Potter."

Harry sat, amazement written across his features as he watched Severus go to Hermione and lead her to a seat. He took a chair of his own next to hers, and Harry could barely believe his eyes as he watched Severus take Hermione's hand in his own. His heart beat hard in his chest as he saw the glint of two wedding bands; one on Hermione's and one on his former teacher. "You're married." It was a statement. He didn't have to ask.

Hermione looked to Severus and smiled slightly then returned her gaze to Harry. "Yes. We are."

"Those are your children. Yours and Hermione's?" Harry asked.

Severus looked at Harry. It was quite a different look than he had ever given the young man before. Not the look of a bitter man whose lost love was long gone. Not a man who was scared for his life, or living a double life. It was the look of a man who had made peace with his life, a man who was quite content. "Yes Harry. They are our children."

"Through and through," came Hermione's interjection. "Snarky and moody and know-it-alls to boot."

Severus grinned, a fact that nearly caused Harry to collapse in shock, "There is no denying their parentage, it seems." Severus said.

Harry ran his hand through his already messy hair and braced his elbows on his knees. They felt wobbly and weak, but he was determined to see this through. "What…what are their names?" He paused and shook his head. "I suppose that's a silly question to start with," he shrugged. "It's all my brain's coming up with right now."

"That's okay Harry. I know this is all very…odd for you."

"That's an understatement," he snorted. "I'm sorry. Go on."

"Our oldest is Diana, nine years old going on thirty. She's a little mother if there ever was one," Severus said softly. Harry noticed his fingers had begun to stroke Hermione's gently. He blinked and nodded for them to continue.

"And the others," he asked?

Hermione smiled and nodded. "Mirra is our middle child, six years old and just a darling. She's sweet and kind and absolutely a wonderful sister," she smiled, and Harry could see the love in her eyes and hear the devotion in her voice. "Susan is our youngest, four years old last night, actually. She's already got Severus wrapped around her little finger."

"Well, she does take after me the most, you have to admit."

Hermione rolled her eyes and giggled. "She's been experimenting with her Junior Potions Caddy. She gave Severus a potion the other day that caused his hair to turn as curly as mine." Severus looked severe, but Harry could see the amusement behind the falsely stony expression. Who was this man he was looking at? Hermione went on: "Severus was not pleased."

"Well, it took a week to wear off!"

"Oh come now, dear, you looked quite fetching."

"I did not!"

"Anyway…" Hermione tempered, "As you can see, we've got a lot of love in this house. It's not much, but its ours. We've lived here very quietly for a very long time, Harry, and it's been happy, but it's also been hard. You've no idea how difficult it was not to tell you."

Harry nodded slowly, his eyes were wet with unshed tears which began to course down his cheeks. "Why?"

At this Hermione looked to her husband who smiled softly back at her and shrugged slightly. "Oh Harry, we couldn't tell anyone, you must understand that. When we became involved….when we fell in love…it was forbidden. It would have been so unseemly, even though I was of age at the time."

"How did this happen, you and him? When and how?" Harry asked.

Hermione sighed. "Do you remember when we were camping, and I always had the late watch? Phinneus Nigellus had overheard my location from my bag, the one I carried everything in. Severus was informed of our position, and you know, he'd been keeping tabs on us all along, making sure we were safe, doing his duty as a spy. And once he found out where exactly we were, he came one night. He got through my wards easily. I nearly hexed his legs off, but something made me pause."

"That could have been deadly, had I actually been out to kill you, as all of you thought at the time. Though I am glad it was her that was on watch at the time. I had no idea what I'd be going into, and out of the three of you, Hermione was the most level headed, all things considered."

"Severus, can I call you that? I'm so sorry. Until you gave me those memories that night in the Shrieking Shack, I never knew. None of us knew that you were on our side. I guess except Hermione." Harry was calming down now, listening as patiently as he could to their story. It had been so many years of searching, hoping, and wishing, that he didn't want to destroy things now that he'd found Hermione. He was determined to understand, no matter how insane he thought it all was.

"Of course you can call me Severus. And please don't be sorry. None of you were meant to know. That was the whole point. None of it would have worked if you had been aware. It wouldn't have been safe, Harry, for me or for you." Harry nodded at this. "When I got there that night, once I convinced Hermione of my status as a double agent, so-to-speak, we organized a code. I would come to her at her watch hours and provide information, I brought food and supplies, and we talked about strategies and where you three would go next."

"And," Hermione interjected, "after a while, we began to talk about other things as well. And…" she looked at Severus who smiled gently down at her, "Oh Harry it just happened. It was like out of nowhere, completely unexpected…and completely inappropriate at the time."

Harry nodded. "He'd have been sacked, and your reputation would have been ruined," Harry realized. "I understand why you couldn't tell anyone. But why not at least tell me…tell us you were going away," Harry agonized.

"Harry, you have to understand, we couldn't tell anyone. Severus' name wasn't cleared. And then, after a while…it seemed impossible. We were afraid, you see, that after his death had been published and he was awarded an Order of Merlin posthumously, that the public would slander us both. By then, we had a child and another baby on the way…Oh Harry it was just so complicated to even think about."

"Neither of us ever meant to cause you pain, Harry. You've had quite enough of that in your lifetime. More than any one person should have ever had. We had hoped you would move on with your life and be happy."

Harry shook his head and smiled ruefully. "You have no idea. I've been looking for you for years. Every day since the day of your disappearance, Hermione. It never occurred to me to look in apothecary shoppes. I believed Severus was dead. But I miss my friend. Please come back Hermione. Everyone would be so glad to see you alive! We all miss you, and I want you to meet my children, have dinners with you…now that I know you're alive, the possibilities are endless. And Severus' name has been cleared for years now."

Hermione looked down at her hands and smiled sadly. "Harry, you know what would happen if we came back. It would be insane. The media would go crazy. It would be a bloodbath," she looked at Severus, who looked as regretful as she. "I'm sorry Harry. So sorry. But I can't put my family through that. We cannot put our family through that," she said softly, her hands grasping Severus' in her own tighter than before.

Harry sat stunned. Not come back? But ten years of his life…she couldn't…they couldn't. "But…Hermione, you are my friend. I want what we had before."

"Harry," Hermione said, rising finally from her spot at the table. "Take a look around you. Look at this house, this life…nothing will ever be the same. We cannot go back to what it was before because things have changed. You have changed. You have a life with Ginny, and your children." She smiled when he looked surprised at the mention of his family. "I may have been out of your life, but I've been keeping tabs on you the whole time! You are quite famous, still. You've never been able to keep yourself out of the news. And I am happy for you and your family."

Severus rose then, and Harry stood as well. "Harry, we're not going to obliviate you or anything of that sort. But we will ask you for a wizarding oath. That you never tell anyone where we are," Harry's eyes stung at this.

"Not even Ginny, or Ron," Hermione added quietly.

"There is too much at stake. We value our privacy here, and we have children to think about. You must understand."

Harry sniffed ungracefully and wiped his nose against his sleeve and lowered his head. When he lifted it again, he looked pained. "Can I ever come see you again?"

Hermione looked at Severus sadly and buried her face in his sleeve. "Harry, we must ask you not to come here again. It's not safe." Severus placed a large hand on the younger man's shoulder.

"I'll never forget you Harry. But Severus speaks the truth," Hermione said. Her voice was quiet, and her eyes were wide and sad. "I'm so sorry that this is so hard. But it must be this way, don't you see?" Her eyes were pleading with him. Harry felt his heart break into pieces. But he did understand. His own life was still sometimes a dangerous one. Lord Voldemort may have been dead for 10 years, but there were still so many supporters out there, hiding in secret, laying in wait. Harry's name still had a price on it. There were reporters out front every time he left the ministry where he worked, every outing with the children, his name and his face, and their faces still splashed all over the Daily Prophet and any wizarding rag that could get their hands on a 'story'. He understood Hermione and Severus' too well. And so, with a heart that felt heavy as lead, he reached into his pocket for his wand. Severus looked at him straight in his eyes and nodded. And then the vow was made.

Harry felt the strands of magic entwine up his wand arm and felt the internal switch of the magic take hold. It was done. Severus smiled gently and held out his other hand for a shake. "Thank you Harry, for giving me my freedom and clearing my name, even if it was after my death. It's more than I could ever have imagined for my life."

"You are welcome, Severus Snape. And I meant everything I said in the papers all those years ago. You are the bravest man I've ever known."

Severus shook his head. "I'm not brave. I only ever did what I had to do to survive and help the ones I loved. This included," he nodded to his wand.

Harry nodded in the affirmative and Severus stepped aside, revealing Hermione standing with her eyes streaming with tears. But she looked as strong as ever. "Goodbye Hermione," he murmured as he enveloped her in a hug. "Please be happy, ok?"

Hermione smiled softly as she hugged her friend, the young man who had changed her life in so many ways. "Yes Harry, and you. I want you to have a wonderful life with Ginny. I want you to have the life you always deserved to have. You can rest now, and stop blaming yourself for my disappearance. Because I am happy. Very. And somehow, it's better knowing, now, isn't it? Even if it can't be exactly the way we want?"

Harry nodded, and with more well wishes he left the little cottage, making his way along the winding path until he got back to the main road. His steps were slow on the cobbled streets and he reached the apparition point after a few blocks. With a final look over his shoulder, he was gone with a crack that nobody heard.

….

Severus watched as Hermione stood at the kitchen sink, washing dishes the muggle way, a habit she'd stuck with for as long as he'd known her. He walked up and placed his hands on her shoulders and rubbed them gently. He knew she was upset, but he also knew that they had done what was best. As he looked over her head and out the window, he smiled happily as he watched their three children play together in the large garden that he'd helped cultivate. "Severus," came her hoarse voice as she placed a dish gently in the drying rack, "we did the right thing, yes?"

He sighed and placed a tender kiss atop the riot of curls that were escaping from her loose braid. "Yes," he said simply and continued to stroke her arms gently with his large, calloused hands.

"I love you," she said as she picked up a mug and began to patiently attack the stain of tea in the shape of a ring at the bottom.

Severus smiled and pulled her tighter against him. "I love you too."

…..

Harry returned to Grimmauld place and was greeted with smiles and tales of the day's adventures from his children, and a kiss and a smile from Ginny.

He accepted them warmly and returned his wife's affectionate greeting with a small kiss of his own, and then, unexpectedly he pulled her in close to him and hugged her as tight as he could. Ginny smiled and pulled back gently and watched him carefully as he stared back at her with those amazing green eyes. "Harry, are you all right?"

"Of course. I just love you, that's all."

Ginny smiled, "And I love you. How was work today? Did that lead turn out to be anything new?"

Harry bent and gently kissed her forehead, his eyes glancing over at his children who were playing with their toy wands, trying to enchant a small broom. "No. It was nothing new," he smiled softly and wrapped her hand within his. "Shall we order take away tonight? I fancy watching a move together."

"Sounds good Harry, I'll ring up Mr. Chow's, shall I?"

"Lovely," he said.

**The End**

**Reviews are always welcomed and appreciated!**

**SS**


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